Christmas In My Hometown
by Manchester
Summary: When this town is none other than Sunnydale, just about everything taking place there during the Christmas season can result in some very peculiar situations. Case in point…


Reaching into his bottomless sack of presents, Santa Claus pulled out from there a small cylindrical object easily fitting in his gloved right hand. With a slight grunt of effort, Santa bent forward over his jiggling belly and placed this object next to a Sunnydale alley manhole late at night on Christmas Eve, straightening up afterwards. Several prudent steps backwards were subsequently taken by him.

During the course of this cautious retreat, the ageless man possessing a snowy white beard and clad in a mostly red outfit observed with professional interest how the cylindrical object then magically expanded into a metal 55-gallon barrel painted a festive bright green. This color matched the ribbon and bow also tied around the center of this large container normally used for storing manufacturing liquids such as oils or chemicals.

Satisfied that all was in readiness, Santa gave a single stomp of his right black boot onto the alley asphalt. It took only a few seconds before something monstrous lurking belowground in the city sewer system responded to this signal.

The heavy manhole cover was thrust aside without the slightest bit of trouble when a writhing mass of scrofulous-yellow tentacles burst through the vertical passage leading downwards into nameless horrors. Just after the loud scraping sound from the cover being moved ended, the tentacles seized hold of the barrel resting on the opposite side of the shifted manhole cover.

In a blur of speed, the heavy container filled to its tightly-sealed brim was lifted and yanked in an arcing loop which concluded in the barrel vanishing from view when all of the tentacles retracted back down the manhole shaft, taking their prize along firmly clenched by these flexible limbs.

Santa Claus kept watching, only to be rewarded for this a mere instant later when a single tentacle shot upwards into view. The tip of this tentacle bent over and it began to sweep horizontally until this otherworldly appendage pointed directly at the portly man now stroking his beard with a definite cheerful air.

Sinuously curving, the tentacle waved once in a thank-you gesture at Santa.

Santa waved back with equal pleasure.

Lowering itself almost all the way into the manhole shaft, the tentacle then grabbed the circular cover by the rim and dragged the iron disk back into its former position sealing shut the hole again. A practiced concluding flip of the tentacle tip made sure it wasn't caught by the cover's return, but instead shot out of sight below as the cover clattered into place.

With that done, Santa picked up his sack where it'd been placed in front of his boots and slung this bag over one shoulder. Strolling out of the alley, the man also known as Kris Kringle and many other titles absently plucked from out of thin air a single sheet of paper which still managed to contain within itself an infinite list of names.

Peering through half-moon spectacles at the list, Santa hummed thoughtfully under his breath. "All right, which good little boy or girl gets their present next?"

Continuing to walk unconcernedly through the Hellmouth's darkness on the sole night of the year when not a single one of the California city's residents - human or otherwise - would even dream of harming him, Santa at last found on the list:

"Miss Summers, of course! Her first Christmas here, that dear girl wants…a new sweater? Certainly, why not? The Slayer isn't on my naughty list, so it's what she'll get- Hold on, there's more."

The enchanted list shimmered into a much longer roll of paper which Santa then proceeded to quote from out loud. "Let's see now… 'Please, _please,_ Santa, make it a sweater able to last through anything I do on my regular cemetery patrols! Mom's getting kind of suspicious, with me having to throw away in the garbage all my old sweaters when they're torn up by some dumb demon's teeth and claws before I chop off their heads! Or, even worse, covered all over with monster blood and other goop because of their slaying that won't ever come out however hard I wash them! Thank you so much! Buffy Summers at 1630 Revello Drive. P.S.: I promise this year to buy store cookies instead of baking them for you. Is your cracked tooth any better yet?' Very thoughtful of her, that final part."

A quick flick of Santa's fingers made the list vanish, and he brought his sack around to once more reach into it while making his way towards a certain Slayer's house. Withdrawing from the sack an extremely stylish young lady's hand-knit woolen sweater, Santa beamed at this fine gift. However, a sudden recollection regarding another present from mere minutes ago made him halt in his tracks on the Sunnydale sidewalk.

Standing there, a rare frown passed over Santa's customary jovial visage. He couldn't help but vividly remember the advertising sign attached to the side of tonight's other holiday gift of a 55-gallon barrel of vile liquefied substances which had been gratefully accepted by its fiendish recipient back in the alley.

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Starting to walk again, Santa Claus consoled himself, "Oh, well, what are the odds? It's not likely both of them will meet each other so soon that I'll wind up getting a really nasty letter from Miss Summers complaining about her ruined Christmas sweater even before the New Year!"

* * *

Author's Note: All rights to Charley Pride's 'Christmas In My Hometown' belong to their proper owners.

 _There's a white Christmas in my hometown_  
 _Where the streets are snowy, shining bright_  
 _And the lights so on all the Christmas trees are burning_  
 _For old Santa's sure to come this very night_

 _There are jingle bells and Christmas carols singin'_  
 _By the children who are walking in the street_  
 _Folks are smilin' and they're sayin' merry Christmas_  
 _For there's joy in their hearts as they meet_

 _Oh, the Christmas chimes are ringing in the tower_  
 _Jingle bells can be heard all around_  
 _Time for all to go and wait for Santa's comin'_  
 _'Cause it's merry Christmas here in my hometown_

 _I can hear the reindeer in the distance_  
 _All the sleighbells are ringing loud and clear_  
 _Little eyes are closed in their slumber_  
 _They are waiting for old Santa to appear_

 _Oh, the Christmas chimes are ringing in the tower_  
 _Jingle bells can be heard all around_  
 _Time for all to go and wait for Santa's comin'_  
 _'Cause it's merry Christmas here in my hometown_


End file.
